#Momisms: Your Maternal Wisdom, Threats, And Jokes In Honor Of #MothersDay

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(The following excerpt from Mom-isms: Your Maternal Wisdom, Threats, And Jokes In Honor Of Mother’s Day recently appeared on al.comTo view it in its entirety click on the link below.)

 

Y’all have some great moms.

In honor of Mother’s Day, we asked our readers across Alabama to text or call in their favorite Mom-isms — those things that Mom has said so many times that they’ve become endearing, or at least a little family joke. Here’s what you told us:
Your mom-isms voice mails
Download audio file

• Pretty is as pretty does.

• There’s no fool like an old fool.

• You sit right there and don’t say another word! Do you understand? … Well? Are you deaf? Answer me!

• [Mom walks in while you’re obviously on the phone] Are you on the phone?

• You aren’t wearing those shoes, are you?

• I don’t want it, and you don’t need it.

• I’m cold. Put on a sweater.

• Do it as unto the Lord.

• No! Because I said so, that’s why!

• If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.

• You will be rewarded in Heaven.

• You reap what you sow.

• Save for a rainy day, as the storm will surely come.

• That’s as tight as Dick’s headband.

• Boys never want to be friends with girls. They always want something more.

• Better the belly to bust than good vittles to go to waste.

• You only love God as much as the person you like the least.

• No good deed goes unpunished.

• Just keep it up, and if you break your leg, don’t come running to me.

• Always wear clean underwear.

• Fiddlesticks! [as a substitute for bad words]

• I’m going to jerk a knot in your tail!

• How about some Jello to tide you over? [Before a two-hour drive]

• I hope you have children just like you.

• If you always do what’s right, right will always follow you.

• Go outside — I’m tired of looking at you.

• I swear, if you head wasn’t attached to your body, you’d forget it.

• Keep your nose to the grinder.
• A mother can always tell when something is going on with her child.

• You can never be anonymous.

• Remember who you are and what you represent.

• If you mess up, fess up.

• Better to have it and not need than to want it and not have it.

• Always have a quarter in your pocket as you can call home.

• If you fall and hurt yourself, I’m going to whip you.

• A little bluebird told me what you did today.

• When in doubt, put your pearls on and be a lady.

• If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.

• What would the neighbors think?

• Go to school and get a good education so you won’t have to depend on a man.

• Just because something is different, that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.

• If you don’t like it, don’t eat it!

• I wish I could buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth. I’d be rich.

• If you don’t like what’s for dinner, go to bed hungry!

• Don’t let your mouth get you where your butt can’t keep you.

• On a bad day, I’m 10 steps ahead of you.

• Never trust a (vehicle) blinker.

• Be careful! People are driving crazy out there!

• Better safe than dead.

 

 

 

http://www.al.com/living/index.ssf/2014/05/mom-isms_mothers_day.html

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5 thoughts on “#Momisms: Your Maternal Wisdom, Threats, And Jokes In Honor Of #MothersDay

  1. Hadel says:

    Reblogged this on Hadel.

  2. “I hope you have kids just like you” was my stepmother’s favorite. 🙂

  3. Jen & Joni says:

    My father always said, “I wish you all the best in the world and that you have kids just like you.”

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